Finally I am sitting down and writing this after completely forgetting it. I totally forgot about this till I went to my transcript and saw the F, I think my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I don't know how much I can write and I can't show any photos as my computer has crashed and they're deleted off my camera but I'll try.


Firstly I want to say that I have really enjoyed the experience of working on this project, more so working on a project where my ego was not involved. So many times I have shot myself in the foot thinking that others will see my work and it will never be up to the standard it should be. This time I made a work purely for investigation and found I liked my results better. Still I did think about the outcome and whether or not it was up to my impossible standard. Yet I just felt these interesting connections with these pieces I created, moments in time, and when I finished them I didn't feel so attached and didn't feel like I really needed to show them to anyone but myself. At first I felt like if I didn't show the work it meant nothing but as the process progressed I started to understand the importance of my own personal growth and not of my recognition. When I was young I often thought of fame and recognition and now I don't truly care as long as I can live off of the things that come out of me. Its the same with being on the stage at first I felt like being on the stage was glamorous and I loved it but now I realize I need to be performing because I need to let that emotion and focus spill out. I have come to also realize that maybe categorizing myself in dance was a mistake. Not the department but always thinking linearly of dance. I am an image creator, as everyone, I see things differently and pull them out and that doesn't always have to be dance. I do many other things and they don't have to stay in separate categories and I don't even have to have a definite. This is a big mush of things but to me this is more important than speaking about the pieces directly even though I will try. What I am trying to say that is in the last year I have been opened up to opportunities, choices and relationships. Through those things I feel like I can leave the department being fulfilled and in the mindset that I am ready. Last year, end of the year, I was trembling with the idea of not being in school and now I invite it because now I know that outside the bubble of the department that I can create my own interests separate from a collective. Now what I'm attempting to say is that through this year maturity I feel ready.

Now I'll try and write about the experience of working with Melissa and the oranges. I can't write much as it felt like forever ago but I can say a few things. At the end of the process when you came in and pointed out the cut and paste flavour of the piece, that for me, was a turning point in my process cause I could truly see where I could have blended in the base concept and movement of the piece. Then I looked back on my pieces and started to analyze which were more successful and why. The ones that were really drew on one true movement nature and didn't stray to far from the vocabulary. I felt that the piece would have been more successful if it was in the daytime with much more people and the slowness and stillness carried on throughout the piece. It would have made more sense and the feeling and nature of the strange shapes would have been memorable. Working in the subway was also memorable as I dreaded it. Made me feel uncomfortable and maybe that's why I chose it, but it affected me and Melissa so much that at points we felt we couldn't keep rehearsing. It was an experience and I'm glad I did it.


As for the Olympic stadium I really strived to have fun, explore and blend blend blend. Again at the end I saw how many things can be expanded and made fuller. One part could be the show but expanded which made me think how many singular ideas I make to put into one piece and if I should be. Then when you told me I should do a small piece based on one soul thing it really made my thoughts clear towards the issue. I had too many things I wanted to jam pack into on piece. Yet this was a fun project and I felt successful with the result. Working with Melissa and Laurel was fun because they were attentive and hard working I wonder sometimes if I would create the same things using my earlier dancers. I don't think I would have.

One thing I regret is not working with an ensemble I really love working with groups, I only ever did it once at Concordia and I liked it the most because I like the energy of a group of individuals representing my idea and vision of collective nature and imagery. Other than that I feel really happy with the way things went on this indy and am excited to soon move onto different things, traveling and taking chances and opportunities as they come as well as making them for myself.

I am kinda ashamed at how long it's been since I've written in my journal but I've been writing in a real one. I think this process I didn't feel like I could take pictures without being paranoid that I would be kicked out of the space. Tomorrow is the presentation and I will be filming because I have to have documentation. I have been working hard and trying to probelem solve more effectivly. I think this showing is going to be fun, I was playful with the space and I took a chance. Melissa was saying "I don't think we could have got here without all that other stuff" I agree a lot of the ime in my work I find myself going every which way until I find the solution. Everyone tries things out that don't work though and I agree with Melissa if i didn't use the eye patch or let her loose than I wouldn't have ome to the final product. I also think that I have been able to spot non logical turns of events in the piece. As well I acutally structured the ntire piece, the movements are set but the duration and how she does them depend on the people around her and I like that. I hope tomorrow goes well.



....and I promise to keep this journal gong for the next project!

I'm rechargerd and finally writing in this journal again. I had my first rehearsal with Melissa last Tuesday and it was inspiring. The space is a vortex of energy and I love the feeling it's giving me. We did some improve and spoke of my ideas about the space and what I think our approach to it should be. I want to keep the movement contained and match and push the feeling of the space. We also worked on Melissa's presence in the space which is working really really well, her focus is exactly what I want in the space and I think she really understands what I am going for. We also paid attention to the other pressences of the space and the fact that no one eve truly spends time in the tunnel as it is only a space to walk through, so the idea of being in that space for a long period of time is already exciting. We also dicussed the almost black holes of the space and the way the energy is almost cut and dispanded due to the architecture.

Another rehearsal tomorrow and I'm exciting to keep working.

Me and Emma have devised a new way of choreography communication. She can't hear me under the water so we've made a code, 1 tap on her thigh means this is good, 2 taps means stay longer. I think its humorous that because of the space I have to find a new way of communicating. Last rehearsal we found some boundaries considering we nearly flooded her apartment. Its good to go to those extremes and try it out and then harness it back. I found a place today that I thought about the break of logic and I quickly reminded myself that this although interesting didn't fit with the rest of the piece.

I'll be video taping it on Thursday and hope that all goes well.

( some pictures )

Today I felt was productive. I'm starting to set images and we're working on 5 minute "marathons" to set all the material within the structured 5-8 minutes. I want to make that time as juicy as possible so we're working on getting to that point, it's pretty slow movement so it takes time up. The lighting is now less shocking and the fan noise has been taken care of. Emma's really starting to find space within such confinement. I don't give her much room to work with yet it really seems like she fits perfectly.

Here are some pictures.





(yes Emma has to wear a nose plug)

( more pictures )

(This experiment is being held in Emma's bathtub)

I am really pleased with how I am working right now. Last rehearsal Emma and I had a talk about her not feeling like I was giving her enough direction we talked it out and now we're working much more efficient. I've been coaching her through movement states and visualisations that are giving me the imagery that I want. I'm having another rehearsal today and we're going to be setting points and using those points for reference.

What I really like is that there is no concept no back story I'm not trying to portray some lady in the water story but am using the physicality and awareness of the water and its weight to create imagery. Something different for me, something thats working. I think that all those years of researching concepts has only really confused me when all I needed to do was trust my own visual intuition and experiment. It seems to be lending a much less stressful way of working which lets me get more things down and makes them clearer. There is something nice putting someone in a space watching them and creating concepts from their body in a space and state that you have chosen rather than coming in with huge concepts that become muddled in movement because they are just images not real physical states or movement. I might be a visual artist but for me I think now things are becoming clearer as to the mixture and use of my eye for visuals.

I have another rehearsal today and hope to have pictures by tonight.

I've been meaning to write this journal entry for a while but wanted to let things sink in a bit before.

I must say that I was really really pleased with the way the presentation went. It felt well executed and despite the cold weather the girls were right on cue. I was extremely nervous but I felt that the girls seemed ready so I was just waiting to see an outcome. I question things a lot and even though I felt the work was strong, no one had seen it so I was afraid that it was way too wrapped up in my head to be understandable. So I shifted, giggled and grinded my teeth almost not wanting to look. Yet I felt that because a lot of the movement was worked on as improvisation that the girls were truly in charge and if I had properly reached a level of understanding about the work with them then they would take it home regardless.

Reflecting on the conversation that followed it really helped me dissect certain parts of my process. When Michael was talking about the logic of the piece and that certain moments stepped away from that logic I completely agreed. I really wanted to show a lot of what I had experimented with and in doing so I sacrificed some of the logic. Just because something looks interesting but doesn’t fit can certainly mean it’s part of a process than a product. I understand now, looking back, that I ignored my intuition to take out those parts when I felt like there was something off about them. I think it’s truly for me a trust issue, for example at the beginning of the piece I knew that the sculptural silent movement was working and I extended it. Maybe then I should trust those moments as much as I should trust my editing skills.

I also think that I agree that I could have gone into a deeper physicality with my dancers but was distracted by the visual of the bodies against the space.I often focus on visuals and not enough on the real movement I am trying to convey. To me visuals are important but I think I am learning to let movement bounce off the visuals thus creating something unforced. I really do think I force things into my choreography and maybe have to let my concepts truly adapt and change. I think that investigating movement closer with my dancers is something I have to start digging deeper into. Yet I again think it has to do with my confidence, sometimes I settle for second best because I feel I have worked my dancer too hard but truly I am just being way too ambiguous. This is also reflected in my lack of verbal guidance. I talk to my dancers but I think I should get deeper into what their doing while their doing it.


These are all things to work on and I really think that this project has been a gathering of my knowledge and been an experiment where I can grow because the pressure is not there. Maybe what I have to learn is to create my own way of dealing with pressure in a way that eliminates it. I think theses projects are going to truly help me do that because what I need is to spew out movement and then edit. I usually am too much into my head that I edit before the dancers even see it. I think that if I trust my intuition as a dancer and choreographer than these things will come out good or bad and become part of a logic that is edited through visual choice than purely mental. This being said I am extremely excited to keep on going with this process as I feel like it is pointing me in a new direction where I am more open, willing to experiment and feel much more clear and connected to movement than huge concepts.

I haven't posted here in a while as I have been way too busy with the project and other assignments to sit down and write. My last rehearsal I really think key aspects came together and I'm excited to present soon. Sadly with the rain on Monday I couldn't present which is becoming problematic as the girls don't have any extra time to give me. I'm going to video tape the next rehearsals last run so that there is a back-up if November 19th doesn't work out. I haven't been able to take many pictures or videos as I get involved in the process and forget to, but next rehearsal I'll have it all recorded.

I must say that this process is really giving me room to explore in a non pressure atmosphere. This is making me not judge the work I'm putting out and I will take the criticism of the presentation without holding so fast to a "precious" piece. As well I am really enjoying the comments from the public who pass by and ask me questions. I really think brightening up spaces with movement can be so enjoyable to someone passing by.

I am quite nervous as to how I am going to schedule another space. It will clearly have to be in a shorter more crash-course type of manor. Emma-Kate will be doing a solo and has agreed to possibly present the piece early December. So I'll see what works but for now I'm a bit nervous.


We really worked on (after this improv) using the differences between Emma-Kate and Leah's interaction and relationship between the space. Emma-Kate can't seem to get a grip of the ground underneath her, the sand, and is trying to get her bearings. Whereas Leah can't seem to grasp the vastness and fast wind that hits through the space. I really worked with them one on one and vocalized more than I usually do which is a breakthrough from my ambiguousness.

Now that I've reviewed what I really want to look at and experiment with this process I believe I'm getting more out of the experience than before. I also think that this first exploration is a test and that the other months are going to be much more refined.

Last rehearsal I told the girls to focus on the sound of the space and I found it really worked. They were open and projecting and the choices they were making were much more grounded and physical. I think the need to put things together is scaring me but I the investigation is too exciting that if I "fail" at showing something I wont be upset but happy I tried.

It is truly interesting watching the two girls take information and then go into the space and interpret it completely differently. Emma is much more physical, reacting to the space in an architectural way and Leah is much more driven by her impulses and reacts to the space in a more emotional way.

This rehearsal an older Italian man, around 65, came up to me to ask me what I was doing. He told me that 2 weeks ago he was waiting for the bus and he saw Emma and Leah dancing. Then he said a week later he saw them dancing again and now wanted to ask me what was going on. He said it was magical and that he had really enjoyed watching them move in such a space. I was really excited to hear that someone was enjoying my experiment. I think part of public site specific is taking movement to a place that can be accessed by a broader audience.

Pictures and Videos
( Read more... )

       This rehearsal there was a change in the way in which the dancers felt about the space. As soon as I said lets set some things to show Micheal, it almost felt as if the essence of what they were working on died...and I think for a bit there it did. At the beginning of the rehearsal I felt as if I wasn't pulling the things I saw while observing but was worried about what to show and the final product. As the rehearsal went on the girls went to the bathroom and I starred at the space and wondered why I was making movement the way I was and how it wasn't transmitting what I wanted. I realized there was a bolder in my way, the option of failure. I don't like that word and I think for a moment I put things back in perspective. The space is important and I am interacting with it in different ways. Movement quality is important but more so for right now the intention to look at what that space dictates and how I can contrast and compliment it in many different ways and that I don't have to show every single thing I explored.

I've had two rehearsals now and I can say that this experience as a whole is going to be very interesting. The interaction between the dancers and the spaces natural habitat is by itself very rewarding and inspiring to watch. The spaces sounds of cars,buses, and chatting give a soundtrack to the dancers movements and interactions. The space is very open and creates a contrast between its openness to the sky and the concentration of a moving body.


The first rehearsal I had I let Emma and Leah get familiar with the space by letting them explore it with an openness to whatever could happen. I noticed that they a) work very well together b) throughout the rehearsal were becoming bolder. This was encouraging and as I saw changes between their open projection and an internal projection I took note and played with that.

The spaces inhabitants are rather interesting and the girls seem to take a liking to mimicking what they will say to them. Although this at one point was interesting it has become too much of a game and free for all and I believe I should tell them that although fun it's not productive for this exploration.


Here is some documentation from Rehearsals 1 and 2 ( pictures )

Here I will be posting my thoughts, pictures and possible video clips of rehearsals and my process.

First rehearsal is Friday and I can't wait.